Italians do not drive
by gust-rider
Summary: There is a reason why Feliciano is not allowed to drive. Ever. /Oneshot/


There is a reason why Feliciano is not allowed to drive.

Ever.

It all started off quiet innocently. Japan came over for business reasons and on his way back from England to Japan he'd decided to drop by the small hyperactive Italian. Feliciano had, of course, decided it'd be a great time to tourist for the Asian and since he wanted to see Ludwig and he thought he couldn't be doing something too important he called him over too.

Ludwig was busy but God knows he can't say no to Italy, even when over the phone, so he was somehow dragged to the tourist visit as well.

"I'm very sorry, Ludwig-san, I fear I have encouraged Feliciano-kun into dragging you all the way over here…" Kiku said as he bowed deeply in front of the German.

Ludwig shook his head; he knew Kiku would apologize for Feliciano as soon as he laid eyes on him.

"It's all right, Kiku. You know how Feliciano is…" Ludwig replied as he patted the small Italian that seemed to be going on hyper mode from the attention given to him.

"Veee, everyone needs to go out once in a while!" he said as ducked from the blonde's man hand and into the house.

"Feliciano, where are you going?"

"For my keys of course!" the Italian replied smiling as he disappeared into his home.

"Feliciano-kun… has a car?..." Kiku mused out loud.

"Well… Most high quality cars do come from Italy… But the fact that he owns one worries me…" Ludwig said as he crossed his arms.

"We should at least give him the benefit of the doubt; don't you think so, Ludwig-san?" Kiku asked trying to support the Italian.

"Yes, I suppose. As long as no one's life is placed in danger I suppose we could."

The sound of a motor turning on and a garage door opening made the two turn around. Coming out of the Italian's garage was a beautiful red convertible car. Ludwig almost gasped out loud as the small car slowly made his way from the garage to the front of the house, the Italian smiling happily in the driving seat.

"Well, what are you waiting for, vee? Climb in, I'll show you my land, veee!" He said as he clicked a button, unlocking the car.

Kiku went in first, climbing into the back seats, while Ludwig sat as the copilot.

"It's beautiful, Feliciano…" Ludwig muttered looking at the insides of the car with an awed expression.

"Ah! I supposed you would like it, Ludwig, veee! And wait 'till you see how it drives!" the small Italian responded, a twitch in the corner of his smile made Ludwig fear for his live.

Feliciano gleefully started the tour and it all seemed to go normal. He drove down the street slowly, the three of them enjoying the wind and the smells of the Italian town.

But when he turned around the corner, just a question made Ludwig realize the nightmare had started.

"I don't think my brother can see me now, can he? Veee!"

And before Ludwig could even muster a warning on speed, the small convertible had gone from 10 to 80 in 5 seconds flat.

Feliciano skidded down the Italian countryside, barely keeping the car inside the road during the turns.

Ludwig was grabbing the door as a lifeline and he knew from the soft whimpers coming from the back of the car that Kiku was having it worse than he was.

"F-Feliciano, you idiot! SLOW DOWN!" the German demanded as he tried not to go out flying of the car in another turn.

"Vee…. But I'm not even driving fast, Ludwig!" the Italian said with all the peace in the world.

Ludwig turned to argue when he noticed, to his dismay, that Feliciano was holding the steering wheel with only one hand.

Ludwig had to do a double take.

Yes, effectively, the Italian was using only one hand.

One hand.

For driving.

"FELICIANO! STOP THIS INSTANT!"

There was a loud screech and the car did two circles before coming to a complete stop.

"What is wrong, Ludwig? Veeee?" the Italian looked at him as if nothing wrong or out of the ordinary.

"You're driving, that's what's wrong!" Ludwig exclaimed as he turned to see how Kiku was doing.

The Japanese was sprawled all over the backseat, a terrified expression on his normally calm face.

"My driving? What's wrong with it?" Feliciano questioned, not understanding.

"You drive too fast! No respect for stops! Neither for road signaling! I counted more than 50 offenses to the driving laws!" the German replied trying to make the Italian understand.

"But I was only going at 120km/h! I'm within the permited limit, veeee!" the Italian replied.

"Well, I don't know in which planet that is permited, Feliciano-" "Here in Italy it is!" "BUT you are NOT driving like that when I'm around to suffer the consequences!" Ludwig ended de discussion taking the small Italian and placing him on the copilot seat while he took the steering wheel.

…

Meanwhile, Somewhere in Spain…

Romano shivered.

He looked around suspiciously, Antonio watching him amused as the small Italian looked first to his right and then to his left nervous.

"Is there something wrong, Lovi?"

"My car… A potato bastard is driving my car…" he muttered furious.

Antonio blinked.

"And it all stinks of Feliciano… DAMN IT!"

…

Everyone honked at Ludwig for driving too slow and Feliciano hid embarrassed.

"Can't I drive?"

"NO"

"Just a little bit?"

"NO"

"Veee…. Ludwig is so mean…."

"Not working, Feliciano. The answer is still NO"

"Pwetty pwease?"

"…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not answering."

"Ludwig!"

"NO"


End file.
